me, the defected me, is formed by my past, experiences i've had in my past with my family and those who i encountered along the way.
what my family have done and said that have hurt me unintentionally is not in their awareness,
and i am not ready to tell them about it either.
scars are irreversible.
and there are wounds all around my body that only the one who know me the best would know how to avoid them and bring me to grow without tearing those wounds opened again.
but i guess there is no such person in the world apart from myself.
and it is also unfair of me to expect that another encounter of my life, whom i've only met for less than 3 years will be and can be able to comprehend all these past that i have buried deep inside my heart.
reality being as it is.
i've been led to understand eventually that there really is no one i can depend on who understands me well enough to let me unwrap all i have deep deep down.
solitude i think that's called.
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